Thursday, February 17, 2011

Tell the truth Thursday

Today I am starting to get an idea of how the blog is going to take shape, so I am starting on the right foot. Today is the first "Tell the truth Thursday"

A little bit of a confessional I guess.... 
And today is a big one... well for me anyways

I feel so guilty, I have such a short temper these days and yesterday I actually screamed at Delaney. I'm sure I'm not completely alone in having a short temper with my child but I have never been this short tempered with her before. I have a feeling that it is mostly due to these crazy pregnancy hormones coursing through my body and brain but it feels just horrible knowing that I could and did take I all out on Delaney.

I had just gotten off the phone and was trying to explain to Husband what was said and all that and Delaney was in my face screaming "Mommy mom mommy mommy mommy" and while she is only two and I know better, I looked right at her and screamed "just stop it" after which I broke into tears.... She went on about her business and couldn't have cared less but I sat crying for 10 minutes. once I calmed down I wanted to explain to her why mommy was so mean and yelled at her... and she in all her two year old wisdom looked at me and said "It's ok Momma" and off she went again. 

It has made me feel so wrong, so upset, like I am such a bad mom... I know its in the past and I know that I can't change it but I have to be more conscious of my temper from now on. I just wish all this parenting stuff was easier, and it wouldn't hurt if all this pregnancy stuff was easier too... 

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