BABY EXCITEMENT

I can't get this out of my head! 

Maybe because Tomorrow is all I can think about!

Baby Max will be born tomorrow and I can't wait! 

Tomorrow!

So ya gotta hang on
'Til tomorrow
Come what may
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
I love ya Tomorrow! 

Wish me luck!

My Baby Shower...

Well I am clearly a bit late posting this one.... I had every intention on posting this a long while ago, if for nothing else to show you the great cake my Friend made for the shower, but life got busy and I kinda forgot I guess. So here we are late but better than never hey!

My shower was held June 12th 2011... yup I'm WAY behind!

There were maybe 12 close friends and a few family at the shower which was great, just enough to have a good time but not so many that I got over whelmed. We did the typical things of course they had set up the guess the baby food game, the round the belly game (where each attendant cuts a piece of ribbon off of a spool that they think is the closest to the size of the Momma-to-be's belly), we ate lots of good food, had great brownie cake (yup brownie cake!), chatted, took pictures and of course they had lots of great gifts to spoil Baby Max with!

Me and Delaney getting ready for the "Baby Shower Party" she was so excited!

 Amazing brownie cake made by my Best Friend... She is the only one who can make this recipe right, I've tried and so have a few others and yet no one makes it like she can! I thought this design was so cute! The laundry line was just too cute and OH BOY is right! What does one do with a boy?? I have never had much experience with baby boys I may be in over my head!

Opening the gifts! I am so lucky to have such great friends and family who spoil us so much! I am forever grateful for the baby gifts and all the love that they shared at the shower and of course everyday!

And here I am in all my preggo glory with all of the amazing gifts for Baby Max... 

I thought we were ready for him then... I should have realized that the excitement would double or triple in just a few months because now we are beyond READY! 

So Excited that he will be here sooooo soon!

Did you have a Baby Shower for your second baby or even third or forth?? or have you hosted a baby shower yourself lately? I'd love to hear about them! 

Tell the Truth Thursday! I'm not too posh to push!

Disclaimer:  This post is entirely my opinion and is based on my experience, my choices and my situation. If you agree or not it is what it is, and while I am open to opinions and comments I would appreciate that if you have a differing opinion that you state it politely and in a way that is going to make this woman, who is 9 months preggo, cry her eyes out all day... Thanks.

This is an issue that I rarely bring up with certain people, and never with strangers mainly because I get stared at... I get looks like I am crazy, like I'm doing something bad, I even get eye rolls and frankly I just don't feel like listening to it. So when people say happy pushing, or happy labor to you or hope that he comes soon for you, I just say "Awwe Thanks" and I leave it at that. 

But the TRUTH is, I am having a scheduled C-section on August 11th and I can't wait!

Our dear Delaney was born Via C-section after 17 hours of labor, 2 hours of pushing, intense pain because she was stuck with her chin and head on my pelvic bone. She was 9lbs 7oz and had a massive head...

So under the advice of my doctor (and a few medical residents) and my own research, we made a mutual decision to go ahead with a scheduled C-section this time around. I am not a very good candidate for a VBAC and frankly I didn't want to try and have the possibility of complications that would just lead to a C-section and the guilt I felt last time when I didn't deliver naturally. I completely agree with, and have said since my first birth experience that things don't always go as planned and you shouldn't blame yourself if you have to go an alternate route, as long as mom and baby are healthy that is all that matters. However in the moment and in the situation its much harder to feel that way, its hard to feel like its not your fault and that it was you who failed to progress or failed to do what your body was made to do, with all the hormones coursing through you at that moment after birth its hard not to feel that it is you who FAILED and then the guilt sets in. (maybe not for everyone but it did for me) And I just don't know that I would be able to deal with that, a newborn and a toddler at the same time.

So that is my TRUTH this week, I am having a scheduled C-section. No I'm not too posh to push, I just want to take the safest, healthiest option for me and my child's birth.

So are you brave enough to share a TRUTH that is a bit controversial? Have you posted about how you feel about an issue that may upset a few readers? Share it in the comments!

Reminiscing....

I am finding it very hard not to compare every symptom and event in this pregnancy to my previous one. 

I guess its extra hard for me because I am on pretty much the same time line as I was when Delaney was born, she was due on August 13th (born on the 21st) and Max is due on the 17th. I had lots and lots of braxton hicks contractions for about two straight weeks with Delaney and here I am again having them fairly regularly but not enough to go into or even think I'm in labor. I thought all along that Delaney would be born on Regatta day (its a holiday here in St. John's, there are rowing races and carnival games and its all held at a large pond in the east end of the city), she wasn't born on that day but I just thought she would be. That holiday is tomorrow.... and I am now wondering if maybe Max is planning on coming early and will greet us tomorrow... 

Its strange to me how you compare something that you and really no one else has any control over and you know that both experiences will be totally different, but you still use that previous experience as a measuring stick.  I know that there will be differences from my last pregnancy and this one, as well as birth and even raising this baby will be different but still I look back and think well if this happened last time maybe it will be similar, or  since that happened last time it will likely be the same. You'd think though, that since every part of this pregnancy has been so different, the nausea, the intense hunger, the intense thirst, hip and back pain, not to mention the threatened preterm labor I would realize that its likely not going to be anything alike. This baby may never sleep as good as Delaney did/does, he may never have any problems with breastfeeding, he may have a totally different personality and his birth may shock and surprise me all together

Maybe its human nature, maybe its the craziness of a pregnant lady but even though I know that each situation and each baby will likely be completely different I am still sitting here for most of the day each day, comparing and wondering if this time around will be similar...

Do you have kids? Did you think this way when you were pregnant? Did you or are you comparing a recent or current pregnancy to the previous? 

I'd love to hear all about it... Leave me a message in the comments!

Tell the Truth Thursday! I get mesmerized...

I get so mesmerized sometimes.... by my belly...

Sounds silly I have done this before, I have seen it all and I have felt it all but I get so caught up in the movements in my belly that I miss whole conversations, Robyn can usually find me sitting on the couch with my shirt up belly out watching little baby Max doing flips or hiccuping...

I don't know what it is about watching my belly that distracts me so much.

Maybe its the fact that it makes everything so real, you know, there is a conscious living, growing person in there. Maybe its that I get to feel all of this but I don't really always know what hes doing, the mystery of "I think that's a leg or maybe a hand but what is he doing". Maybe its the fact that this may be my last chance to experience this, we may not have anymore kids I may never get to experience pregnancy again so why not get caught up in the moments and the movements.

Or maybe just maybe its realizing that although I'm very uncomfortable in the heat and humidity, and I hate having to waddle, and I am going kinda stir crazy "taking it easy" and staying at home all the time, that I am so blessed to be able to have another baby. We have been blessed with another baby to love, cherish, spoil, teach, and watch grow into a  toddler, a child and someday a man.

What mesmerizes you? Your kids? Your life? Your Hubby (mine does sometimes... and not always in a good way... but that's another post...) Share your TRUTH in the comments!

Wedding Week!

Yup its wedding week... nope not mine of course but my best friends... They tie the knot on Saturday, and we have been so busy with wedding events and fittings and such all week. We had dress fittings and a bridal party bbq on Tuesday, rehearsal tomorrow (Thursday), bridesmaids "old school sleep over" complete with a game of DREAM PHONE on Friday, and then hair and makeup starts at 8 am on Saturday then all the festivities of the day! Plus I have been writing speeches all week too! I as the MOH am toasting the bride of course and they have asked Robyn to toast the bridesmaids as he is the only groomsman who knows all of us girls...

I am trying to rest up as much as possible early in the week so that I will be able to make it through the day on Saturday... 

I am having such an emotional week with the wedding and the preggo hormones all at once... I am so excited to see my friend walk down the isle in the beautiful dress that fits her like a glove, I can't wait to give my speech, I can't wait to hear the other speeches because I know that the people giving them are going to make them great! I am so excited to see Robyn in a TUX again, he never dresses up so it will be nice to see, I can't wait to see Delaney in her dress with her hair done, she is so excited to go to the salon, just like the girls on Strawberry Shortcake. But at the same time, part of me wishes I wasn't ready to pop right now. I feel so huge, and uncomfortable and wish there was more that I could do. I dread the thought that I will likely have to leave early due to flat out exhaustion, I wish that I could go and dance all night with the happy couple and all of our friends, I wish that I could even properly take part in the toasts... I will be drinking Apple Juice on ice. I hope its a good year...

One thing I do know is that all this wedding talk and all the wedding events are reminding me of  the day and week that Robyn and I got married. We are coming up on our first anniversary and so much has happened in just one year. However I do have one small concern... What to give dear hubby for our first anniversary... I know that tradition says it should be a gift of paper but I'm not sure quite what to do? I want to make it myself (surprise, surprise...) Any ideas are certainly welcome!

Photo Friday! Just in time baby bump photos!

Last week just before I had to be admitted to the hospital my sister took a few baby bump photos for me... and since I am not able to do any picture taking myself I thought that today would be a great day to display my bump for the world to see... not to mention the great photos that my sister took of me! 

These were taken on Canada Day in the Botanical Gardens here in St. John's! It is such a beautiful and natural place!

Thanks again to my sister for getting these few beauties before the arrival of Baby Max!

Tell the Truth Thursday! Where oh where have I been???

Oh my it seems that life has taken a tumble and fallen in my lap again... 

Just when we had recovered from having Robyn in the hospital and a few other bumps in the road of life I took a little detour to the hospital myself...

Yup I was admitted to the hospital Sunday 

(which means that the posts you saw this week were scheduled last week... but that is another confession though... ) 

As a pregnant person the last thing you want is to have to go in to get checked out at Labor and Delivery early, however sometimes you have to use your mothers instinct and you just have to suck it up and go! 

I started having back and belly pain and cramping on Canada Day (Friday) and it would dull and go away and then come back again and it seemed that when I was resting I was fine, it persisted on Saturday but then on Sunday it got majorly worse to the point that I started to have contractions and at that point I got very scared and said this is it lets go to the hospital... 

I got a bag ready for Delaney and we dropped her off with my sister and headed to the hospital, by the time we got there I was having contractions every minute and a half. 

(Talk about scary!) 

Once I got there they hooked me up to all the machines gave me an IV and ran all the tests, and finally they gave me some drugs to stop the pain, which did also slow the contractions as well but never stopped them... 

They had a neonatologist resident come in and an OB-GYN resident as well. The neonatologist scared the CRAP out of us by telling us that there was a possibility that the baby could have a brain bleed and would likely need to have oxygen and breathing tubes and feeding tubes all of course in medical terms like she was being tested by her superior, but what was most reassuring was that every time she paused she said "ummm what was I going to tell you about... " or "ummm I think that's it..." (plus she was about 4 feet tall and looked like she was 12...) The OB-GYN resident was great she talked us though everything in plain English and answered all of our questions, she also seemed to really care about what was happening and seemed to understand how scared I was.

After a few hours of rest and being observed on all the monitors possible the OB-GYN resident came in and admitted me and then suggested that I take a medication that will stop the contractions so that I could have two shots of steroids that would help to mature Baby Max's lungs just in case he had to be delivered... 

As a Mommy my heart and brain made the fastest decision ever... 

"YES, YES if it will help him YES!"

However this medication is a blood pressure medication that can severely drop your blood pressure if you don't have blood pressure issues. And of course what should happen to me but my BP dropped drastically! they continued to check me out and give me the meds when my blood pressure was high enough to take them, I got my shots of steroids and was restricted to bed rest with bathroom privileges, which meant 3 feet from my bed, until everything calmed down and I was no longer having any contractions. I saw my Dr everyday for an assessment and everyday he said "lets take it day by day and see how you are". 

When I talked to my Dr about the possible complications of having to deliver early he said he has no worries about the weight or size or health of my baby and that those neonatologist need to stop scaring his patients, which I must admit put me much more at ease. But still I was sitting in a bed with no end in sight just waiting... (I had lots of visitors but I really wanted to be at home).Everyday I felt a bit better and and everyday I wanted to come home to my Delaney more and more!

So after days of bed rest and getting assessed by my OB they finally let me come home to my precious girl and handsome hubby today as long as I promised to be careful and take it easy... 

So there will likely be very few strenuous projects (like refinishing the dressers for the kiddos room), crazy bachelorette party planning posts (or many other parties for that matter), or marathon baking days (which strangely enough would likely calm me down more) happening for the next few weeks but I do have a few things up my sleeve... and most of them can be done sitting down on a comfy couch (I hope)...

Tell the Truth Thursday! Egg Salad Sandwiches and Strawberry Jello...

I think its kind of crazy, these pregnancy hormones make you do some silly things....

Yell at your sister, mother, husband, kids... who are we kidding you yell at everyone.

Stay up till 1 in the morning making sure the fridge is clean as clean can be.

Prepare a nursery/baby room that will likely go unused for months.

But the craziest of all to me is the things these hormones make us want to eat.

I am a fan of Jello... your never too old for J-E-L-L-O

Lately however I have been partaking in an extraordinary amount of Jell-o... Strawberry Jell-o... 

Now I am also a fan of an Egg Salad Sandwich... I always have been but usually the occasional one at a baby or wedding shower is lots for me... I like them but I wouldn't go out of my way for them on a regular basis. 

However this combo as weird as it sounds has been my go to meal if Delaney wants a Grilled Cheese or Peanut-butter Sandwich.... Yup a few times a week I am partaking in Egg Salad Sandwiches and Jell-o.... 

Even writing it out my self just now I went ewwww... who would eat that??? but then I thought hmmmm is it lunch time yet? 

See these hormones are majorly messing with my head! Hopefully I can recover from this craziness in about 2 and 1/2 months! If not I may just give in and live it up with my Jell-o and Egg Salad!

Are you Pregnant? What are you craving or what did you crave when you were? I'd love to hear if I am the only crazy one who wants strange food! 

P.s. So sorry if the J-E-L-L-O song is stuck in your head now... I know its stuck in my head!

Tell the Truth Thursday! The Feed Me Stage!

Delaney is at an awful stage..  

The Feed Me Stage...

Its awful because she seems just too lazy, or disinterested to eat her food.

If you feed her, her meal she will eat till she bursts but if you leave her to it, she would sit there for a month of Sundays. 

I like to blame Nanny, (sorry if your reading this Mom) as she will feed Delaney any time she asks her to.. 

But in TRUTH as much as I know that this is just another stage in the life of a toddler I am a little worried that this is a little bit of a regression... and that when the baby comes she is going to regress even further and want to be a baby again. 

She is (and has been for the last year almost) very excited that she is a big girl and even when I call her my baby she says "No I'm a GIRL Momma!" but I still think that maybe just maybe I will have to deal with a new born and a 3 year old who is trying to get momma's attention and acting like a baby....

I am hoping that this will pass before the baby comes.

Has this happened with your toddlers? Is this just a stage? What do you think?

Tell the Truth Thursday!

Boys suck the life out of you... 

Being a woman who has carried both sexes I have to say Boys (or from my experience with this boy) are harder to carry! I have been feeling worse with the pregnancy than I ever was with Delaney... at least that's how I remember it... I remember being tired and moody while pregnant with Delaney but I never had much of any morning sickness, I was tired but never did I want to sleep all day everyday for a month, I had some swelling in my feet and a few cramps and such but never this much round ligament pain or just aches and pains in general... I was hungry while pregnant with Delaney but never did I want to eat and eat and eat... I could eat us out of house and home! I have been having seconds and sometimes thirds at supper for weeks now (I never eat seconds) 

I honestly think, and no there is no scientific fact behind this, that boys suck the life out of you... for nine months (ten really) they make you eat more, sleep more, ache more, gain more and all around take whatever they can get, knowing full well that at the end once they are born that you will love them no matter what, lay down your own life for them, give them everything they need and more and you will forget that they sucked the life out of you for nine months (ten really). 

I think the hardest part about having a second baby, who happens to be a boy is that you know that "it's all worth it in the end" and "it's not easy making a human being" and "your growing a baby of course its takes a lot of work" but you have nine month (ten really) to remember the last pregnancy and how different they are and how long they suck the life out of you...

In defense of boy baby's everywhere I do believe that I had this same argument while pregnant with Delaney... so really my "Truth" this Thursday is that being pregnant sucks the life out of you, but when they kick and roll in your tummy you forget, and when they are born and look at you, you forget, and when they grow and learn and temp you to have more baby's because all you can remember are those great moments when they kicked and rolled in your tummy, when they were born and looked at you and when they started to grow and learn things you forget... until your 21 weeks pregnant and you remember... 

What's your "Truth" this Thursday? Can you sympathize with me? or are you thinking about the truth about newborns, or toddlers cause I'm sure gonna be thinking that soon... lol

It's A.....

Well it's not a Tuesday tip, we are coming down with a cold and not feeling the greatest so I thought I would give you a sweet simple post to clue you in on our news!

We had our 18 week ultrasound yesterday and we found out the gender ASAP... I am just too type A not to know and I think it's easier to prepare Delaney if we know what to expect, plus it's easier to plan for a second baby knowing what we are planning for. 

IT'S A BOY!

And we are all very excited... except Delaney keeps calling me her brother now, just not realizing that he maybe growing in my belly but that I'm not actually the brother... She made her calls after our apt, telling all of our family and friends "Were having a Boy!" she is going to be one great Big Sis!

What a week, what a week...

This has been one strange week... I have been riding the hormonal roller-coaster that is pregnancy, I have been so mad, frustrated, sad, happy and crazy this past week, well I say week but really I mean since Wednesday. I have not been able to control my emotions at all and I hope that this is caused by the hormones and will pass soon or at the very least in 5 or so months after the baby is born and I can try to pick myself up and dust myself off and become me again. 

I have yelled at everyone, I have cried hystericaly and I have been so unbelievably frustrated and mad that I have wanted to start a hitting my own husband (yes I have been that mad at him before but I have always been able to walk away and control my emotions and in this situation I was ready to put 'em up and duke it out) and I have done what I feel is the worst I scared my daughter half to death and she had to console me as if she were the mother and I the child.... she is so unbelievable and wise for her age. 

A few good things came out of this week though, I got to take my baby girl shopping for a few hours and she got to pick out a new book (one of her favorite things to shop for I might add... ), She got to send a care package using her own money to her sick cousin, I got to take my yearly Paddy's day picture...

 My "Irish Princess"

Robyn had his drug testing and medical for his new job and of course he passed with flying colors, I got to visit with my mom and sister, I got to sleep in and I really mean sleep in, till 11:30 I can't remember the last time I slept that late and best of all I lived through it all as happy, or unhappy as I was during the whole thing I'm still alive and still able to keep going on with my life. Tomorrow is always just around the bend, and I have these two wonderful people to keep me going. 

Tell the truth Thursday

Today I am starting to get an idea of how the blog is going to take shape, so I am starting on the right foot. Today is the first "Tell the truth Thursday"

A little bit of a confessional I guess.... 

And today is a big one... well for me anyways

I feel so guilty, I have such a short temper these days and yesterday I actually screamed at Delaney. I'm sure I'm not completely alone in having a short temper with my child but I have never been this short tempered with her before. I have a feeling that it is mostly due to these crazy pregnancy hormones coursing through my body and brain but it feels just horrible knowing that I could and did take I all out on Delaney.

I had just gotten off the phone and was trying to explain to Husband what was said and all that and Delaney was in my face screaming "Mommy mom mommy mommy mommy" and while she is only two and I know better, I looked right at her and screamed "just stop it" after which I broke into tears.... She went on about her business and couldn't have cared less but I sat crying for 10 minutes. once I calmed down I wanted to explain to her why mommy was so mean and yelled at her... and she in all her two year old wisdom looked at me and said "It's ok Momma" and off she went again. 

It has made me feel so wrong, so upset, like I am such a bad mom... I know its in the past and I know that I can't change it but I have to be more conscious of my temper from now on. I just wish all this parenting stuff was easier, and it wouldn't hurt if all this pregnancy stuff was easier too... 

New addition!

Well our little family is growing again! 

We are expecting another baby this August and we couldn't be more thrilled! We let our families and close friends in on the good news before Christmas but wanted to wait to share it with the world until later when we knew things were going in the right direction, which my Dr. says certainly are! 

The main reason we wanted to wait was due to our prior pregnancy losses. We lost 2 pregnancies in the past one at 14 weeks in 2006 and one at 16 weeks in 2007. On our first pregnancy miscarriage wasn't even a thought that had crossed our minds, I didn't know much about it and it was never something I really worried about. When I began to miscarry we went to the hospital and found out that the baby had stopped developing at 8 weeks and I had just continued to carry it until that point, on the second we were scared but when the Dr said that things were looking good, that my hormone levels were good and that we shouldn't worry we did our best to stay positive and as the 12 week mark came and went I felt better and then when we passed 14 weeks I thought we were in the clear, until I started to have pain and spotting again at 16 weeks. The ER doctor sent me for an ultrasound where they confirmed that I had a blighted ovum. Which basically means that there was no baby, the sperm and egg meet and begin the pregnancy but it usually doesn't develop passed that. It was traumatic and unbearable to deal with and even harder to decide when we wanted to try again or even if we were going to try again. We talked a lot about waiting a year or more but we decided to let it happen when it happened and with the guidance of my OB-GYN I started taking extra folic acid and also a low dose aspirin therapy to aid in implantation of a fetus and to help with blood flow to the uterus, and from there it just happened and we were blessed with little Delaney on our third pregnancy. I had a lot of stress when pregnant with her I was always worried that one day I would wake up and it would all happen again especially around the weeks that I had miscarried before.

This time around I have been feeling so different I was much more sick with this pregnancy than any other, I have been exhausted, nope not just tired exhausted, I have been experiencing pregnancy congestion with lots of sinus and ear pain, and just in general I feel so different. I had an ultrasound a few weeks ago and am so excited that things look good and sound good too... I have heard the heart beat 3 times now and couldn't be more pleased! 

I do find that I am much less stressed out about a possible miscarriage, maybe its because I have my hands full with a certain 2 year old who keeps my mind and every other part of me occupied through out the day. Or maybe sometimes your body just knows things are working in the right order. I do wonder if other women felt this way after a miscarriage or two. I also wonder if they find it as cathartic to talk about there miscarriage as I do, It really is the best way for me to deal with it and to feel better about it as time goes on. If anyone out there is reading and wants to talk about there experience by all means I'd love to hear from you.